Friendzone: when you like someone and would prefer that person to be your lover, but that person sees you only as a friend at best. It tends to hurt, but the mature thing is to move on with your life, find someone new. Yeah, but most people don't really *do* the mature thing, do they? Nope, they need to go to some stupid site like LiveJournal or Tumblr and complain about it! Several bloggers and writers have already written about the Friendzone, and all that has needed to be said about it, has already been said. But today, I want to look at how that brilliant Visual Novel, Katawa Shoujo, deals with the concept of Friendzone.
One of these girls likes vagina. Can you guess which one? Here's a hint: Misha.
The Shizune path is the single most controversial path in all of Katawa Shoujo. Why? Because unlike most Visual Novels, and indeed unlike the other paths, the Shizune path has only one choice to make, but boy is it a doozy. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's go back to the beggining. Shizune is the girl with the glasses you see in the picture above. She's studious, she's hard working, she's a real take charge kind of woman, she's deaf, she's demanding, she's refined, she's classy, she's blunt, she's kind when she wants to be and likewise rough, and she's kinky as shit. Her interpreter, Misha, is the opposite: happy, bubbly, loud, slightly obnoxious but always well meaning, ditzy, kind of dumb academically speaking. And gay. Misha is a lesbian. Or at least she's lesbian for Shizune. She's in lesbians with Shizune. I totally stole that joke from Scott Pilgrim.
What do Misha and Hisao see in her, anyway? She's just some dominating deaf Japanese girl with a D cup chest and glasses who likes doing things like tying people up while she strokes her hands all around their bodies, all the while slowly removing her clothes to reveal her lacy black underwear...Oh, that's the reason.
Misha met Shizune a few years before the game began. Shizune had wanted to be a part of the Student Council in Yamaku High, and Misha opted to join too to help her out. Eventually, because Shizune slowly became a bit of a bitch, all the other members left the council. All but one: Misha. Misha stayed with Shizune because, well, Misha had fallen head over heels in love with her. One day, Misha decided to confess her feelings to Shizune, which is what most guys and girls who get Friendzoned don't have the balls to do.
Misha is the one sitting on the table. She used to have long, beautiful, brown hair. Pictured here is Misha pouring her heart out to Shizune, who, since she's deaf, won't hear the poor girl anyway. I assume that after this, Misha used Japanese Sign Language to talk to Shizune.
Sadly for Misha, Shizune is decidedly heterosexual, creating for Misha the inverse situation of Weezer's Pink Triangle song. Shizune still values Misha, but just as a friend.
And here is where we stop, take a step back, and look at how a typical Tumblr loser would complain this kind of situation. It'd probably look something like this: "I've been pining for this beautiful girl all year long. I joined the fucking Student Council for her. I stayed beside her when she pushed everyone away, even her own cousin! I confessed to her how I felt, and what did she tell me? She told me she didn't feel that way about me at all, that she preferred guys! God, that bitch Friendzoned me!" And now, let's look at what really happened: Two people can't be together due to incompatible sexual orientation. One's a homosexual, the other is heterosexual.
Misha is heartbroken, but stays with Shizune regardless. Why? Because that's how much Shizune means to her. Misha had been bullied before, due to her sexuality. But Shizune respected her, looked past that and befriended Misha regardless. This is simply basic human decency, but to someone who has been bullied for so long for something they were born with, for something they have no control over, and forms an intricate part of their identity, this show of decency means so much more.
Eventually Misha, in a bit of an emo phase, cuts her hair and dyes it pink.
"Check out mah drills!!!"
A year passes and everything is fine (for a loose definition of the word.) And then...he arrives. The player character, the one who will, by the player's actions, woo Shizune into his arms. Hisao Nakai.
Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen.
You know that asshole that the Friendzoned guy keeps complaining about, the one whom the object of his affections shows interest in? That's Hisao. Basically, Hisao waltzes into school, joins the Student Council, gets chummy with Shizune, asks her to be his girlfriend, and she agrees. Meanwhile, poor Misha has to mend her own broken heart. "Waaaa, why does she love HIM and not ME!!???"
Eventually, the game gives you the one choice in the Shizune route. Misha one night goes to your apartment, her heart heavy with sorrow. She sits on your bed. Suddenly she puts the moves on you, asking you to comfort her.
Spoiler alert. If you choose to comfort her, you'll be doing so with your pee pee.
Ah, the classic tale of the scorned lesbian, out to ruin the perfectly straight relationship between the woman she loves and the asshole male who wooed her away with his penis. However, that is not what happened at all. Let me explain.
Shizune's route is all about her relationship with Hisao and Misha, about how these three people love each other in different ways. Shizune loves Hisao like a lover, and loves Misha like a friend. Hisao loves Shizune as a lover, and Misha as a friend. Misha also loves Hisao as a friend, and loves Shizune like a lover. There are four types of love: Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge. Storge is affection, the bonds between family. Philia is friendship and camaraderie. Eros is passion and romance. Agape is unconditional love. Hisao and Shizune share Eros, while Misha recieves Philia from both, and feels Philia towards Hisao. But she feels Eros towards Shizune, who can not return these feelings because she is predominantly attracted to men.
Human sexuality is a complex subject, much more than we credit it to be. It is naive to merely say that everyone is either straight or gay and be done with it. No, it is not that simple. There is, of course, bisexualiy, which is an attraction towards both genders. And of course there is bisexuality that inclines towards homosexuality, and bisexuality that inclines towards heterosexuality. Sapiosexuality is finding a person's intelligence to be attractive. Asexuality is an absence of sexual desire, but not an absence for romantic companionship. Androphilia is sexual attraction towards men, gynephilia is sexual attraction towards women. And so forth. And of course, we have to account to a person's individual tastes. Some people prefer their partners to act a certain way, while others prefer their partners to look a different way. Some women want a Justin Bieber, while others would prefer a Steve Buscemi. Some men find Kim Kardashian to be a loose tooth and would rather date Emma Watson, while some men find Emma Watson to be over rated and would rather date Pam Grier. My point is, people are attracted to different kinds of people.
And just because you are attracted to someone, doesn't mean that person will be attracted to you. Misha was attracted to Shizune, but Shizune was not attracted to Misha. Hisao became attracted to Shizune, and Shizune became attracted to Hisao. (Point of Trivia: Shizune is the girl whom Hisao is quickest to admit he is attracted to. Hisao admits he's falling for her at the end of the first act.) We do not control who we are attracted to, it just happens. It's how we deal with our attractions that matter.
But just because the people we love do not love us the same way, does not mean they don't love us. In the end, what is wrong with Phillia? Friendship is a beautiful thing, it is wonderful. And Katawa Shoujo illustrates how wonderful Phillia is when Hisao dedicates an entire day to just being with Misha, showing her how much she means to not just Shizune, but to him as well. When Misha was hurting because she felt it was better that Hisao and Shizune be together with herself out of the picture, Hisao went and showed her the true value of a friend. Hisao, more than anyone, knows the pain of losing friends, because he himself lost his friends when he spent five months in the hospital to treat his arrythmia. When Hisao had his first heart attack, he felt his life was over, and so he acted like a dick to his friends and the people that cared about him, eventually losing everyone but his parents. Misha and Shizune are, no matter what route he takes, the first two girls who attempt to make Hisao feel welcome in Yamaku, the ones who try to bring him out of his shell and misery, to embrace his life. It was not just Shizune, it was Misha too.
Misha's feelings for Shizune are just as real as Hisao's, and the game acknowledges it. Is it sad that Shizune didn't return Misha's feelings? Well, yes. But that does not make Shizune a bitch that just uses Misha only to drop her once Hisao comes along. And just because Hisao was the lucky guy to gain Shizune's love, does not make him the asshole that 'stole' Shizune away from Misha. And Misha is not the downtrodden friend who gave Shizune her everything only to be relegated to the sidelines once some new guy came by to stick it in Shizune's vagina. That's not what happened here at all. This is not that story. The Shizune route is the story of how, sometimes, the person we love just doesn't love us back because of reasons beyond our control. Misha likes women, but Shizune likes men. It's as simple as that.
And you know what? This is where I take a page from Dr Nerdlove about "The One." The One is the person we feel is our soul mate, our other half. Sometimes we meet The One, but that person is already taken, or doesn't see us that way. But thinking like this, pining for someone we can never have because that person is "The One" is unhealthy and dangerous. It's called Oneitis, and it is like a disease. The truth is, there is no "The One". The world is full of people, plenty of people who are single and are looking for someone to love.
In Katawa Shoujo, Misha eventually learns to accept that while Shizune may not love her the way she would prefer, Shizune does care a lot about her, and wants her to be happy. Likewise Hisao wants her to be happy, and deeply cares for her. Misha may not have a lover, but she has two great friends who will be there for her when she needs them, the same way she was there for them when they needed her.
It hurts to love someone, only for that person to simply not like you that way. But that's OK, because you know what? The world is chock full of opportunities. "The One" is the person who loves you back, no more, no less. Your happiness is not dependent on someone else, only on you. You are the one in charge of making yourself happy. Go out, enjoy life, do something you love doing. But don't pine for someone you will never have, and don't forget that friendship is the light that illuminates the darkness of this valley in the shadow of death. The Friendzone is not some prison, it only means that person was not right for you that way. Don't be mad if you get friend zoned, be happy, because the one for you is still out there.
EDIT October 25, 2014: Due to his using the massacre perpetrated by Elliot Rodger as a soap box to rag on about "toxic" masculinity, his anti Gamergate stance, his continuous spread of the myth that gamers are anti women and that gaming is a "boy's only" club that reject Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian because they have vaginas, his personal ties to Leigh Alexander, and overall what I've discovered is a condescending attitude against nerds of all fandoms, I have deleted what was once an endorsement for Dr Nerdlove, as well as a link to his website. I admired him once, now no longer.
And just because you are attracted to someone, doesn't mean that person will be attracted to you. Misha was attracted to Shizune, but Shizune was not attracted to Misha. Hisao became attracted to Shizune, and Shizune became attracted to Hisao. (Point of Trivia: Shizune is the girl whom Hisao is quickest to admit he is attracted to. Hisao admits he's falling for her at the end of the first act.) We do not control who we are attracted to, it just happens. It's how we deal with our attractions that matter.
But just because the people we love do not love us the same way, does not mean they don't love us. In the end, what is wrong with Phillia? Friendship is a beautiful thing, it is wonderful. And Katawa Shoujo illustrates how wonderful Phillia is when Hisao dedicates an entire day to just being with Misha, showing her how much she means to not just Shizune, but to him as well. When Misha was hurting because she felt it was better that Hisao and Shizune be together with herself out of the picture, Hisao went and showed her the true value of a friend. Hisao, more than anyone, knows the pain of losing friends, because he himself lost his friends when he spent five months in the hospital to treat his arrythmia. When Hisao had his first heart attack, he felt his life was over, and so he acted like a dick to his friends and the people that cared about him, eventually losing everyone but his parents. Misha and Shizune are, no matter what route he takes, the first two girls who attempt to make Hisao feel welcome in Yamaku, the ones who try to bring him out of his shell and misery, to embrace his life. It was not just Shizune, it was Misha too.
Misha's feelings for Shizune are just as real as Hisao's, and the game acknowledges it. Is it sad that Shizune didn't return Misha's feelings? Well, yes. But that does not make Shizune a bitch that just uses Misha only to drop her once Hisao comes along. And just because Hisao was the lucky guy to gain Shizune's love, does not make him the asshole that 'stole' Shizune away from Misha. And Misha is not the downtrodden friend who gave Shizune her everything only to be relegated to the sidelines once some new guy came by to stick it in Shizune's vagina. That's not what happened here at all. This is not that story. The Shizune route is the story of how, sometimes, the person we love just doesn't love us back because of reasons beyond our control. Misha likes women, but Shizune likes men. It's as simple as that.
And you know what? This is where I take a page from Dr Nerdlove about "The One." The One is the person we feel is our soul mate, our other half. Sometimes we meet The One, but that person is already taken, or doesn't see us that way. But thinking like this, pining for someone we can never have because that person is "The One" is unhealthy and dangerous. It's called Oneitis, and it is like a disease. The truth is, there is no "The One". The world is full of people, plenty of people who are single and are looking for someone to love.
In Katawa Shoujo, Misha eventually learns to accept that while Shizune may not love her the way she would prefer, Shizune does care a lot about her, and wants her to be happy. Likewise Hisao wants her to be happy, and deeply cares for her. Misha may not have a lover, but she has two great friends who will be there for her when she needs them, the same way she was there for them when they needed her.
It hurts to love someone, only for that person to simply not like you that way. But that's OK, because you know what? The world is chock full of opportunities. "The One" is the person who loves you back, no more, no less. Your happiness is not dependent on someone else, only on you. You are the one in charge of making yourself happy. Go out, enjoy life, do something you love doing. But don't pine for someone you will never have, and don't forget that friendship is the light that illuminates the darkness of this valley in the shadow of death. The Friendzone is not some prison, it only means that person was not right for you that way. Don't be mad if you get friend zoned, be happy, because the one for you is still out there.
EDIT October 25, 2014: Due to his using the massacre perpetrated by Elliot Rodger as a soap box to rag on about "toxic" masculinity, his anti Gamergate stance, his continuous spread of the myth that gamers are anti women and that gaming is a "boy's only" club that reject Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian because they have vaginas, his personal ties to Leigh Alexander, and overall what I've discovered is a condescending attitude against nerds of all fandoms, I have deleted what was once an endorsement for Dr Nerdlove, as well as a link to his website. I admired him once, now no longer.
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