She's the typical gamer's fantasy girl. She's meek, she's shy, she's quiet, she's frail, she looks like she could cry at any minute. She's the girl who sits way behind in class, away from everyone else, the one who buries herself in her book. She could cry at any minute, she has extremely low self esteem. She's short, but not too short, with milky white skin, long, flowing hair black as midnight. She's thin, almost like a supermodel, and holding her is like holding a little bird. She's Hanako Ikezawa, from the freeware Visual Novel Katawa Shoujo.
Failure to accept this can never lead to that. See that smile? That one's not for White Knights. It's not for assholes that see Hanako as a doll to protect. You want to know what White Knights get? They get this:
"Uh...hello...you...want to...talk to...me? Uh... no...don't stare... uh...IGOTTOGODOSOMETHING!"
I feel like I'm forgetting something about her. What was it? Hmm. Did I mention she was shy? I did. Did I mention she has low self esteem? I did, didn't I? What did I forget about her? Hmm... Oh yeah! The reason Hanako is so shy and withdrawn is because when she was 8 years old her parents died when her house burned down. Oh, and she's also physically scarred due to third degree burns obtained from said fire.
Alright, I'm going to leave the jokes aside from the rest of this blog entry, because this is serious. Those scars? They are the first, and by far the clearest indicator to the player that Hanako is not your fantasy girl. Her shyness is rooted in deep, psychological scars that no amount of White Knighting (basically going out of your way to defend and coddle a girl, even if you don't really know her) will heal.
Hanako's life has not been easy. Her parents died at age 8 in a fire. She's physically scarred from being burnt by fire. She's been bullied for most of her life because of these scars. She has few friends, and in most routes of the game her only friend is a blind girl. She doesn't participate in any after school activities, her room is devoid of all decor, and most of the time she's off by herself, reading a book.
Hanako's surface appeal is that she's the Broken Bird. Her sadness is one that deeply affects those that want to be near her, to be in her heart. And then a fantasy is born, that of the White Knight that protects the woman he loves from the cruelty of this world, who by the strength of his chivalry slowly takes away her sadness, giving her the strength to move on with her life, stronger than ever before.
"I dare to say, this maiden's heart is asunder by the cruelties of the world! Oh, what savagery! But hark! I have laid mine eyes upon her sorrow, and my heart hath soared like thine eagles! Fairest of maidens, if thost would haveth me, I shall defend thee from the cruelties of this God forsaken land!"
And in all honesty that is quite the appealing fantasy, isn't it? Big man against the world for the love of his life, takes away her sorrow, makes her feel better, and she in turn gives him sexy time.
Wait a minute, what? That's right, that's what White Knighting is at it's core. It's not chivalry. It's not standing up for the belief that this girl deserves better. It's not even concern for her happiness. No. It's a sleazy tactic, even if unintentional. There is always an ulterior motive, and most of the time, it's sex. "Oh, if I defend her, she'll have sex with me!" No, she won't. "Oh noes, look at all these guys being mean to this girl on Facebook! I'll defend her by posting some comment here, and then I'll friend her!" No. Just no.
It's really easy to look at Hanako and think "I want to defend her. I want to erase her sorrow." And in all honesty, that's rather sweet in its own way. But it's also wrong. Sorrow isn't something that someone else can erase, especially if the root is a heavily traumatic event like losing your parents at such a young age. And when you want to defend her, ask yourself this question: why? Why do you want to defend her? And from what? From her own sorrow? From the people that torment her because of her scar? And how will you defend her, huh? With your glowing lance while riding your white steed? By picking fights from the people that point to her and laugh?
Women are not maidens to be saved from dragons, nor are they princesses to be rescued from towers or dungeons. They are people. And Hanako is no exception. She is a person, and she just wants to be treated like anyone else. In Katawa Shoujo, the secret to getting Hanako's Good Ending (the one where you get to shag her and then start a relationship with her. Yes, in that order) is to treat her like a normal person. That means reading her body language, respecting her boundaries, and trusting that she can be strong by herself. That last one is important.
A little spoiler for you. These are the choices that determine whether you get her route or not. The top choice shows that you don't give a rat's ass about her personal space, and that you think that introducing yourself and getting her attention are more important to you than her right to read her book in peace. The bottom choice shows that you know you startled her, you know you've intruded upon her comfort zone by accident, and that you are sorry and do not wish to disturb her. The first choice makes you look like an ass, so it's the wrong choice. By reading her body language, you can easily tell it's the wrong choice. See? She's shocked, and her eyes give a hint of terror. As far as she knows, you're a potential bully, here to pick on her like everyone else. You startled her, and the best choice is to apologize.
Compared to the other girls, Hanako's route is one of the hardest, with only Rin's route being arguably harder (but more on her in a future blog). The choices that determine whether you get Hanako's good ending or bad ending are somewhat counter intuitive, yet in hindsight are painfully obvious. The greatest example I can give is how, during the game, you are given the chance to either go to town on what could be construed as a date by an outside viewer, or to simply go back to your dorms and have a quiet day. Hanako's only friend has just left on a trip, and will not return for a while, so she's a little sad. So time to go back to your dorm, right? Better give her a little space? Let her cry a little? No. Nope. Nu-uh. This is your ticket to the bad ending, no ifs ands or buts about it. Choosing to go back to your dorms, on a beautiful day when you have ample time to do whatever, is not the wise choice. Want to know why taking her to town is the better option? Because it shows her you care, it shows her you want her to have a good time with you, and it also shows her that you are still here with her. Lilly, her friend, may not be here now, but you are. And you want to have fun with her too. You are offering her a chance to go out and have fun with you, to live a little, and this is what women enjoy.
See that smile? That is the smile of someone who is out enjoying herself. That is the smile of someone who is enjoying your company. This is what you want. You want this smile. There is no White Knight in the world that can make someone smile like this. You want to know how you get this smile? By being her equal. By inviting her with you to live a little. By giving her space. By recognizing when your company is appreciated, and when it's not.
White Knights don't understand that. They look at a woman and see only someone to protect, someone to use to boost their own egos.
"At long last, once my penis is inside her vagina, my manhood will be validated! Wow, that makes me sound like an asshole when I say it out loud."
I'm going to tell you a not-secret. Being nice to a woman because you think it will make her fall in love with you, that makes you an asshole. Standing up for a woman in the hopes that she'll reward you with sex, that makes you an asshole. Kindness, which is what women truly seek when they ask for a nice guy, is unconditional. A kind guy is nice for no reason other than it's who he is. And here's another not-secret. Being kind means you care about other people. It means you treat them right for no other reason than because you care about them.
The irony is that kindness is a chivalrous virtue, part of the code of honor for Knights. A knight is supposed to be kind, someone who treats others well because it's what one is supposed to do. A Knight defends a woman's honor for no reason other than because it's the right thing to do. And a Knight doesn't do so by threatening anyone with violence, or by shouting sweet nothings at the woman. He does so by standing up against the wicked tongues and speaks calmly. He uses logical reasoning and compassion, hand in hand. He offers the woman his time and ear to listen to her, motivated solely by his concern for her. And when she rejects him, he leaves her alone. This is how a Knight acts. This is how a real man acts.
A real man does not see a woman as someone to protect. Viewing someone as something to protect paints that person as someone who's weaker than he or she really is. A real man accepts a woman as who she really is, as someone with her own strengths and weaknesses. A real man accepts that sometimes he has to be strong for the two of them, but he also accepts that she can be strong too. A real man doesn't treat a woman like a doll to be collected, or a prize to be won, or a songbird to be caged.
And that's what Hanako's route teaches you, subtly. Men and women are not that different from each other. We both have strengths and weaknesses. We both have our own damage. If we accept this, if we learn to trust each other to be strong, and yet open ourselves to each other with our weaknesses, then a real relationship, one based on love, trust and understanding, can be formed.
Don't be a White Knight. Be a man.
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