Monday, April 1, 2024

The Top 6 Greatest Game Consoles of All Time

 You read the title, let's get to it...


6- Sonee PayStation X


The PayStation X by Sonee was a triumph in home computer design, being the first console to use Mini Laser Disc technology, which allowed games to be bigger and more expansive than ever before. Boasting not one, not two, but THREE 32-bit GPUs meant that the PayStation could pull 96-Bit gaming, a feat that could not be topped for well over a decade before the Sega Dreamcast hit the scene. It is truly a tragedy that the PayStation's relatively low sales hurt the system...


5- Torkaizer GameChild


The GameChild, released in 1989, had a simple idea that today is taken for granted: a RECHARGEABLE battery! Boasting this, the GameChild would go on to be a road trip and college mainstay for the 90's, making Torkaizer the undisputed KING of portable console gaming! Unfortunately, since it used game cards instead of cartridges, it meant that the GameChild's library was relatively flimsier than its toughest competitor, the Atari Lynx. That said, the GameChild remains one of the greatest consoles ever.


4- Sunblox Commisor


The system that put Tajikistan on the gaming development map! More than a HUGE hit in all of Central and Western Asia, the Commisor went on to become a cultural JUGGERNAUT in its own right! Released in 1991, just weeks after the dissolution of the Soviet Union, the Commisor would provide many children of the former Soviet bloc with hours upon hours of entertainment. Many games released for the system were also made with that particular Central Asian slant, including such hit games like the Genghis Khan series, Samsonadez, among others. Sadly not that big a hit in the West, but certainly a console worth learning from!


3- Torrente Intento 64


 When Spain's Torrente announced they were entering the console business, the gaming world was shook. Torrente was known as a third party game developer, creators of such classics as Franco's Pastry and Malaguena Tetona. So when the Intento 64 was released in 1995, Torrente knew there was only ONE way to promote the system: with a game that no other console could run correctly. That game was Tetona 64, a game whose jiggle physics took the gaming world by storm. Even today, in spite of their undisputed success in the gaming market, Torrente has yet to duplicate the hype behind the Intento 64.


2- Quetzal Estafa


The Estafa, by Guatemalan developer Quetzal, is a fantastic gaming system that emulates every single gaming system that came before it. It came in two models: the Basic model, wherein your games were interrupted every twenty minutes with five different ads, and the Ad-Free model that cost a mere five hundred dollars American.


1- Apple Krups


The Krups is an APRIL FOOLS! 


If you believe this whole article, you've been had.

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