EVO: Ranking the Bosses

In this blog entry I rank the bosses of the game EVO: The Search for Eden. I'm going from WORST to BEST. Let's go!

WORST Boss: King Bee

The King Bee is ridiculously easy to defeat: his attacks CAN hurt, but he telegraphs them, plus he can be stun locked. Further, his stage HINDERS him by forcing him to stick close to the ground; a well evolved amphibian with sufficient jumping power will have no trouble defeating this bug.

14. Mammoth Brothers

Uuugh, do they even COUNT as bosses? They're not that tough! In my 24 years of playing EVO, I've lost to these guys ONCE!

13. Rogon King

The game has only TWO acquatic bosses, and Rogon King is the lesser boss. His attacks hardly hurt, he barely has any attacks to begin with, and with the Mermaid body, he's a joke. Bleh!

12. Yeti

The Yeti is can be tough, but there's a fool proof strategy to beating him: stay in a corner, and whenever he tries for a punch, kick him away. Rinse, repeat. Pathetic, considering how much he was being hyped up.

11. Tyrasaurus bunch

An unprepared dinosaur can (and will) die to these guys, but otherwise these are just glorified goons. The fact that you continue facing them in EVERY era after the third chapter mitigates their impact as bosses.

10. Bird-King

Not a BAD boss per se, but otherwise nothing too tough. But why is it staring to the screen instead of the player character? Again, same problems with King Bee: the stage limits his power by making it impossible for him to fly away.

9.  Mother of Prime Frog

This boss isn't easy, but she's not DIFFICULT by herself. Two thirds of her danger comes from the fact she spawns baby frogs to attack you; she's otherwise not that strong. Still, those baby frogs make her stupid dangerous.

8. Debustega

A pretty good boss who forces you to grind in order to beat him. That said, once you do grind, he's easy peasy. His attacks are easy to dodge, and with a good body, he doesn't even hit that hard.

7. Queen Bee (chapter 5)

Although she's a little easier the second time around, Queen Bee remains a tough enemy to beat. That said, possessing no new skills or strategies means she's also much less memorable, and her fight feels needless.

6. Brown Yeti

He hits hard and fast, making for a VERY exciting boss battle. Honestly, save for Rogon King, chapter 5 has some of the best bosses in the game.

5. King Kuraselache

Those of you who've been watching my channel know that THIS guy has taken me no less than THREE tries to beat. He hits hard and fast, and if you thought the game was easy, he'll slap your face silly.

4. Cro-Maine

When I was a little boy, Cro-Maine always wrecked my shit. Also trivia: if you've fought every boss in order, he's the LAST boss to use the normal boss music.

3. Queen Bee

Take my criticisms for King Bee and Bird King, and recognize that she utterly averts that problem: Queen Bee takes advantage of her stage's ample room by making herself nigh impossible to reach. Plus, her attacks HURT!

2. Yeti Mother

The Ice Age has some of the blandest, easiest bosses in the game. SHE'S NOT ONE OF THEM! She WILL wreck your shit if you underestimate her!

BEST Boss: Bolbox

A highly memorable boss theme, an insane difficulty curve, and being legitimately challenging, Bolbox is not just the BEST boss in the game, he's one of my favorite all-time Final Bosses.