Love in Gaming: Philip and Anna Strenger, "Witcher 3"

You know, not all love stories have a happy ending, but few of them have an unhappy middle. Sometimes we fall in love with someone, but then one member of the relationship gets tired of everything and wants out, but the other one doesn't. When that happens, it all goes downhill. That's the story of Philip and Anna Strenger, a couple from the game The Witcher 3.

Pictured left: Philip; pictured right: Anna. Not pictured: a happy marriage. Photos taken from the Witcher wiki. Philip Strenger's picture uploaded by user Keashi, Anna Strenger's picture by user Magic713.

Philip and Anna's story started out sweetly enough: they met when he was injured in battle and she was treating his wounds. They fell in love, and soon after got married. But then reality ensued: he kept going off to war, and she eventually found a new lover. She cheated on him for three years, and when he came back, she told him he was leaving him with their daughter. In his anger, Philip killed Anna's lover. From then on, though Anna stayed with Philip, the marriage was dead.

Philip took to the drink to wash away his sorrows, but the drink made him violent and unreasonable. He'd hit Anna, beat her to a bloody pulp. This became a common occurrence in the Strenger household, to the point that their daughter, Tamara, could only remember Philip as a drunkard. This kept going for decades until, one fateful night, Anna left Philip for good, taking their daughter with her.

But Philip wouldn't have any of it, so he set out a reward for whoever could bring back Anna and Tamara to him. That's where the main character of The Witcher series, Geralt of Rivia, came in. In exchange for some information regarding someone he was looking for (his adopted daughter Ciri) Geralt would find Anna and Tamara.

Geralt found Tamara, but she made it clear she wanted nothing more to do with Philip. Anna, however, was in dire straits. She  made a pact with some bog witches, and was now in their servitude. Upon telling Philip the news, he set out for his wife, mounting a search party towards the bog to free his wife from the witches. Sadly, those of you expecting a happy ending can bury those hopes away, because depending on the player's actions, Anna can either end up dead or insane. Thus, Philip will either commit suicide (should Anna end up dead) or take her away towards a healer in the mountains (should she go insane).

By now, you're probably thinking "Philip's an asshole! The best thing Anna did was leave him!" And you're right, Philip IS an asshole! He's also noble, to a point. He's honest, he's loyal, he can be jovial, and most importantly, he truly loves his family.

"But he's a wife beater!" I hear you say. And you're right, that is undeniable. He admits it himself, that he'd hit her when drunk, and he'd get drunk quite often. But why does he drink? To get away from his cold, harsh reality: he's a warrior, a commander, and he's seen the horrors of war up front. That sort of thing isn't easy to get over. Further, he also has to deal with the fact that his wife abused him too, and that his daughter hated him.

If we were to take Philip at his word, Anna would emotionally abuse Philip. She'd taunt him to hit her, to give her a reason, any reason, to leave him for good. This would create a vicious cycle: she'd taunt him, he'd drink, he'd hit her, rinse and repeat. But when she got pregnant with Philip's child, Anna decided she'd rather have an abortion and leave the dead fetus on her bed than raise a child with Philip.

We don't see Anna actually mistreat Philip, however, and the only person to claim she was an emotional abuser was the man who physically abused her. For this reason, one could be forgiven for not believing Philip's claims, and for completely siding with Anna. Of course, one cannot help but see the conundrum the game presents, regarding emotional abuse vs physical abuse, if one should listen and believe a man when he says his wife emotionally abused him or not, etc. But I am not here to do that; THAT is for another blog.

However, Philip truly did love Anna, Tamara, and his unborn daughter. In this case, one needs to pay attention to the subtle clues given in the game's motion capture and voice acting: Philip is in tears when burying his dead infant daughter, he quits drinking after the reality of what the drink had cost him hits him hard, his bouts of self loathing and self anger when confronted with the consequences of his actions, his bitter but understanding disappointment when his grown daughter rejects him (a daughter implied to not even be his), his steadfast determination to save his wife from a trio of witches, and his relief on finding his wife alive, OR his utter grief at finding her dead that drives him to put a rope around his neck.

So, why does this relationship deserve a look? It's the complete and total reversal of what we want out of love stories: we want happy endings, which THIS story does not provide. Well, I share it with you to provide a few lessons.

If your lover or partner physically beats you, LEAVE! Leave at the first instance of this happening, and put as much distance, as many obstacles between you and your partner. Notice that I am being gender neutral here, because this is something that happens to men AND women, by both men AND women. It is not exclusive to just women or heterosexual relationships!

If someone cheats on you, dump them. If they threaten to leave you, let them. Show them the fucking door and kick them the fuck out of your life! Trust me: trying to keep someone who would do something like that to you will only hurt you, in both the short as well as the long run.

But perhaps the most important lesson is this: sometimes, love dies. It happens, and when it does, just let it die and move on. Whose fault was it? Doesn't matter. Is there any bitterness left? Let it go, and move on with your life. This is, ultimately, the lesson Philip and Anna taught gamers with their story: the story of what happens when you try to keep a dead love alive. There is no happy ending waiting for you, just bitterness and hate. Let it all go and move on with your life. You'll thank yourself later in life.