A Gamer's Visit from St. Nick- Parody Poem

 T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a controller was stirring, not even a mouse.

The game mats were spread across the table with care

In the hopes that by morning, new killer decks would be there.

The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of upcoming games danced in their heads.

The TV was turned off, the consoles in Sleep Mode

And the PC's ran not one line of code.

When all of a sudden, arose quite a clatter

So the gamers got up to see what's the matter.

And what to their wandering eyes should appear

But a brilliant red sleigh pulled by flying reindeer!

With a jolly old driver, so lively and quick

The gamers soon realized, t'was old Saint Nick!

And then, in a twinkling, their heard through the roof

The prancing and pawing of each reindeer hoof

Then as soon as the gamers came in and turned around

Down the chimney St. Nick came with a bound.

And I swear, this description comes not from payola

But the man dressed like the pictures from Coca-Cola!

On his head a red hat, on his torso a red suit

On his legs red pants, on his feet black boots!

The gamers took a glimpse at what he carried on his back

It was a whole bunch of games in a giant cotton sack!

With a wink of his eye and a tilt of his head

The gamers knew they had nothing to dread

With a movement so quick, the gamers didn't see

Old St. Nick's gift giving spree!

The tree was soon covered in presents

And I don't need to tell you their contents!

St. Nick gave a nod, and by pressing his nose

In the blink of an eye, up the chimney he rose.

He got on his sleigh, then gave out a whistle

And away his team flew, like the down of a whistle.

Then we all heard him say, as he flew out of sight

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Kingdom Hearts 4: Want, Don't Want

 With the recent announcement of Kingdom Hearts 4, I think this is as good a time as any to make a short list of what I want in the game, and what I DON'T want. I'll keep this simple and clean, and I am NOT sorry for the reference!

6 More ancient animals that could make great Pokemon

You know what this is. Let's get to it.

6 Games I want Remade

You read the title, you know what this is. In no particular order...

If they Win- Stormcloacks of Skyrim

Two sides in a civil war: neither is truly good nor truly evil. Both have their strong points and their weaknesses, their heroes and their bastards. In Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, we are presented with a civil war of such magnitude between the Empire of Tamriel and the rebel Stormcloacks. Today though, no analysis of this situation; only a hypothetical look into the implications of a Stormcloack victory.

7 Ancient Animals that Would Make Great Pokemon

You've read the title, so you know what this is. I'll introduce the animal first and then explain just what type of Pokemon it could be. Most, but not ALL of these entries, could be Fossil Pokemon. Let's begin!

My Love-Hate Relationship with MapleStory

There's no MMO I've quit and returned to more than MapleStory. Ah yes, that free-to-play game from South Korea has had its ups and downs, but in all honesty it's a game that's easy to love, easy to play, and easy to quit. I should know; I've quit that game twice a year for the last 7 years!

Just for Fun: The Yoruba Pantheon for SMITE!

This year, Hi-Rez released their latest Pantheon in SMITE: the Japanese Pantheon. This latest addition has been by no means surprising; Japan has had an undeniable influence in gaming, so adding their gods in a game played by millions of players world wide is something we all should have seen coming. That said, there's a bit of an imbalance regarding the continents represented. We have 3 European pantheons (Greek, Roman, Norse), 3 Asian (Hindu, Chinese, Japanese), 1 American (Mayan), and 1 African (Egyptian). As I am very, very big on representation in gaming, I must say that I am unhappy with this situation. I want some more Africa in here, and I want something sub-Saharan! So for that, I offer a solution: adding the Yoruba Pantheon!

Just for Fun- The Five Worst Games I've Ever Played

I've been gaming since I was just a five year old child, and in that long and illustrious time playing games, I've played some truly fantastic games. I've played games that have changed my perspective in life, games that have entertained me for hours on end, and even games that changed my life for the better! League of Legends, EVO: The Search for Eden, Final Fantasy Tactics, The Crooked Man, these are but a few of the best games I've ever played. But, I also played some pretty damn bad games in my time. This is a short list of the five WORST games I've had the misfortune to play.

Just for Fun- Decoding Second Life

So if you've played Second Life before, odds are that you've seen some people's avatar profiles, and if you've seen as many as I have, you'll have noticed a lot of them say the exact same thing. So today, we're going to decode the most common Second Life profiles! What we are going to do is:

1- Explain what the person behind the avatar THINKS they mean.
2- Explain what they REALLY mean.

Keep in mind that nothing said here is universal; there are exceptions to everything, after all. With that said, let's begin with...

Just for Fun- Games that are Not Fun! Also A Special Message

So recently, our buddy Jonathan "Full" McIntosh, or Josh as we like to call him, called for games that were less fun. See, Josh sees "fun" as feeling powerful, and to him, feeling powerful is a big no no. So just for him, I made a little list of video game ideas that are by no stretch of the imagination "fun", but are instead highly artistic. The following are a collection of art games that I am 100% certain will have the Full McIntosh Seal of Approval!

Just for Fun- A Few Pokemon Ideas

Man, with GamerGate, #NotYourShield, Quinnspiracy, and all this controversy surrounding gamers, it feels like we're living in a crossroads of destiny, where what we do today will decide the fate of our subculture. So today, here's something just for fun: a small list of animals that NEED to have Pokemon designed off of them.

Just for fun- An RPG With a Gay Lead!

A few months ago, I was watching the then latest episode of Game Theory, and it said that LGBT representation in gaming is, well...crap. It seems that for every game with a positive representation of LGBT people, there are 10 games with negative representation, and for every 1 game with any LGBT representation (good or bad), there's 55 games without it. For example, Poison from Final Fight has to be the most well known transsexual in video games (though FAR from being the only one) and not only is she a villain, she's just one of many, many mooks for you to beat up. Another example is "Shemale Bop" in Grand Theft Auto V, which, like most media, makes transsexuals and transvestites into little more than a joke. Anyway, my point is, we need better representation of LGBT's in gaming, and today, I am here to propose we make a game that does just that.


Here's my idea. We make an RPG, because this genre is the one that allows for the best storytelling, and that just happens to be my specialty. Anyway, here's the short synopsis: You have two characters, the hero and his boyfriend. The boyfriend happens to be a martial arts expert and is teaching the hero all about some skills. The boyfriend gets called by the mayor of their city to go to the local cave and deal with a monster, so he takes the hero along to test his skills. This is the tutorial dungeon, and the boss is a monster with about 300 health.

Just for Fun- A Visual Novel Based on "Twilight"?

Alright, so today I had a hard day, and I didn't have time to think up anything serious to discuss today, so I figured I'd do something more for fun to help me relax. Now, I know that nine tenths of you have already hit the back button (or closed this window) so, for the one or two of you that have managed to actually stay here, I'd like to share with you a crazy idea. Now, I know "Twilight" doesn't have the best reputation in the gaming community. Or in the literary community. Or in the film community. Or on the Internet in general. Or just in general. But hear me out, I have a crazy idea! Here it is: Make "Twilight" an Otome Visual Novel!

Not like this is the worst book ever written.